Fwd: New Ukraine Scandal

---------- Forwarded message ---------
From: The Borowitz Report <newyorker@newsletter.newyorker.com>
Date: Mon, Oct 7, 2019, 4:11 PM
Subject: New Ukraine Scandal
To: <mbannerman@tnag.net>

Trump brushed aside an official statement by the Ukrainian government stating that Warren's children had never set foot in the country. View in browser | Update your preferences Not the news. Satire from The Borowitz Report Trump Sees New Polls and Orders Ukraine to Investigate Elizabeth Warren "What Elizabeth Warren and her crooked kids have been doing in Ukraine is a disgrace," Trump said. "This is maybe the biggest scandal in the history of our country." By Andy Borowitz Satire from The Borowitz Report Trump Sends National Guard to His Accountant's Office The troops, whose mission is being called Operation Safe Returns, will make the journey from the Mexican border. By Andy Borowitz Satire from The Borowitz Report Democrats Beg Trump to Stop Impeaching Himself "Mr. President, as much as we appreciate your help, please, stop doing our work for us," Nancy Pelosi said. By Andy Borowitz More Humor from The New Yorker Shouts & Murmurs Meanwhile, in Kiev What happened after Trump hung up. By Yoni Brenner Daily Shouts Cartoons That Were Rejected for Being "Too 1999" Wazzzzzup? By Johnny DiNapoli Daily Shouts The Eurohug, Is It a Thing? Some highly subjective and unscientific guidelines for greeting people from other parts of the world. By Emily Flake PAID POST RETRO REPORT ON PBS, Exploring the History Behind Today's Headlines RETRO REPORT on PBS, hosted by Celeste Headlee and Masud Olufani, offers a fresh perspective on today's headlines by revealing the unexpected connections between the present and the past. The New Yorker's Andy Borowitz closes out each hour with a dose of humor. Back to the Real News . . . Annals of Espionage The Black Cube Chronicles: The Private Investigators How two operatives tasked with surveilling reporters became embroiled in a plot to suppress allegations against Harvey Weinstein. By Ronan Farrow News Desk The Invention of the Conspiracy Theory on Biden and Ukraine How a conservative dark-money group spread the discredited story that may lead to Trump's impeachment. By Jane Mayer Cultural Comment How We Came to Live in "Cursed" Times On the Internet, the phrase has come to signify increasingly generalized feelings of anxiety and malaise. By Jia Tolentino Comment Donald Trump's Ukraine Scandal Has Its Roots in Russia Both situations stem from the President's apparent willingness to accept political favors from foreign leaders. By Jeffrey Toobin <a href="https://link.newyorker.com/click/18260670.128924/aHR0cDovL3R3aXR0ZXIuY29tL25ld3lvcmtlcj9zb3VyY2U9RURUX05ZUl9FRElUX05FV1NMRVRURVJfMF9pbWFnZW5ld3NsZXR0ZXJfQm9yb3dpdHpfWlomdXRtX2NhbXBhaWduPWF1ZC1kZXYmdXRtX3NvdXJjZT1ubCZ1dG1fYnJhbmQ9dG55JnV0bV9tYWlsaW5nPVROWV9Cb3Jvd2l0el8xMDA3MTkmdXRtX21lZGl1bT1lbWFpbCZieGlkPTViZTlmYTMxMmRkZj